MY UPMOST: Discipline of Dismay

At the beginning of our life with Jesus Christ, we were sure we knew all there was to know about following Him. It was a delight to forsake everything else and to throw ourselves before Him in a fearless statement of love. But now we are not quite so sure. Jesus is far ahead of us and is beginning to seem different and unfamiliar— "Jesus was going before them; and they were amazed" (Mark 10:32 ).

There is an aspect of Jesus that chills even a disciple’s heart to its depth and makes his entire spiritual life gasp for air. He no longer seems to be my Counselor and Friend and has a point of view about which I know nothing.At first I was confident that I understood Him, but now I am not so sure.  I have no idea where He is going, and the goal has become strangely distant.

Jesus Christ had to understand fully every sin and sorrow that human beings could experience, and that is what makes Him seem unfamiliar. When we see this aspect of Him, we realize we really don’t know Him. We don’t recognize even one characteristic of His life, and we don’t know how to begin to follow Him. He is far ahead of us, a Leader who seems totally unfamiliar, and we have no friendship with Him.

The discipline of dismay is an essential lesson which a disciple must learn. The danger is that we tend to look back on our times of obedience and on our past sacrifices to God in an effort to keep our enthusiasm for Him strong (see Isaiah 1:10-11 ). But when the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy.

“MY UPMOST” Obedience to the "Heavenly Vision" If we do not apply our beliefs about God to the issues of everyday life, the vision God has given us will never be fulfilled. The only way to be obedient to "the heavenly vision" is to give our utmost for His highest— our best for His glory. This can be accomplished only when we make a determination to continually remember God’s vision.

"Though it tarries, wait for it . . ." ( Habakkuk 2:3  ). We cannot bring the vision to fulfillment through our own efforts, but must live under its inspiration until it fulfills itself. At the very beginning we saw the vision but did not wait for it. We rushed off to do our practical work, and once the vision was fulfilled we could no longer even see it. Waiting for a vision that "tarries" is the true test of our faithfulness to God. It is at the risk of our own soul’s welfare that we get caught up in practical busy-work, only to miss the fulfillment of the vision.

Let God send you out through His storm, and don’t go until He does. If you select your own spot to be planted, you will prove yourself to be an unproductive, empty pod. However, if you allow God to plant you, you will "bear much fruit" ( John 15:8  ).It is essential that we live and "walk in the light" of God’s vision for us ( 1 John 1:7  ).

    Continuing on the theme from the P company HK retreat, where we read John 15, G has been reminding me that I have been impatient and "pruning myself." The above is a reminder for those of us who are impatient. We may hear and know deep down in our hearts that G has a plan, a vision for us, but when things don't go "according to OUR plan," we often lose heart, are angry/frustrated, and "rush off to do our practical things." The scariest thing is that even if the vision is fulfilled, "we do not even see it."
    I need to continue to hold fast to that verse in Psalm 46. I need to learn to "Be Still and Know He is G." I need to find "hope in the vision" as KC has put it and be willing to wait for it, wait for Him to plant me where I am meant to be planted so that I can "bear fruit," and fulfill his vision for me. G, it is he beginning of another long week. I pr that you continue to help me to surrender and walk obediently with you.